You may not know you’re being critical but man is it good to get some self-awareness around this topic! We all need lessons in being critical.
The psychologist Carl Jung always referred to our negative tendencies as our “shadows.” The shadow self if the egotistical, lazy, selfish, bad, entitled parts of us that aren’t always in our awareness of ourselves.
These tendencies can also drive behaviors by affecting your emotions, which drive behaviors and the words you use when speaking to others.
Typically, the way we criticize others is a reflection of our insecurities or fears about ourselves. Ugh….not fun, right?
Being self-aware is the number one important quality not only in a leader but as a person. It’s important because without it, we may go around having experiences with people and with life that come from a place of darkness, therefor causing ourselves more pain.
It’s better to be aware of our shadows and try to overcome them instead of pretending they’re not there. They’re there. Everyone has shadows. Yep.
An exercise for personal growth is to be more alert when you are talking to others. See what thoughts come up, notice negativity and before it comes out, stop yourself and substitute what you were going to say with “I.”
So if you were going to say to someone else “I can’t stand the way you always make jokes about everything.” Instead, say it to yourself as “I can’t stand the way I always make jokes about everything.” It’s different when it’s reversed right? Apply it to yourself. Is there a part of your life that you aren’t taking seriously? And your subconscious is trying to get that frustration out by telling someone else instead?
Interesting things to think about for sure.